idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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