ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
