I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
