Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
