Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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