There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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