im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
