sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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