Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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