I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
There r osticjed everywhere
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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