I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
