The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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