woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
