clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
