I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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