took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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