He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
