I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
