You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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