the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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