i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
