Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My bed smells like the plague
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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