i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
