Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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