Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The power of my boobs compel you
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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