I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
handjob tips. give me some.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
