FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
