Can i not drive my cunt home
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
