how can u be prego again
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
