4 words: hood of his car
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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