so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
