omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
