you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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