how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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