I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
