I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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