i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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