Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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