I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize