We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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