I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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