what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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