Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
