she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I got inside last night via doggy door
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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