wake up i wanna do it froggy style
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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