my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
