I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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