I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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