Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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