You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
