Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize