capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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