i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
