Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
