If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
