just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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