I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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