Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
