I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
