Nicole vs. Life
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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