i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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