awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
