Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
