what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
