oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
