I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
