is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
