Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
