Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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