i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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