bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
