It's Friday. Sex?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
