from now on my penis is your penis
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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