i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
